Oblivious
by TheSecondAlias
Summary: Chihiro has a bigger chip on his shoulder than most know about, and at times it threatens to crush him. Rea sometimes suffers from similar, self-depreciating delusions. Luckily, they both think pretty highly of each other. T for swearing and Rea's home situation.


** Disclaimer: I don't own Sankarea and make absolutely no profit off of this literary work.**

**Oblivious**

Chihiro liked the nights he spent in his tent. There was a certain peace in the solitude he found there, leafing through his grandfather's old notebook and comparing to the notes in his Undead Diary. It was strangely soothing to go through the now-familiar motions with his mortar and pestle, almost meditative to study the reactions between ingredients. In the quiet of the night, when the loudest sounds came from his own breath and the scraping of his tools, Chihiro almost felt… at home.

This night, however, even the peace he usually enjoyed wasn't enough to unravel the tightness of the worry in his chest. It had been born the first time she'd spoken those words to him, and grown worse with every day that passed.

_"I want to experience everything a normal girl would,"_ she'd said. Just remembering was enough to tighten that invisible knot almost to the point of physical pain. Guilt was an emotion that Chihiro had always felt very acutely, unlike the vague ghosts of happiness, anger, and desire that always floated just beyond his perception. Apathy had been the shield between him and a world that didn't understand him - didn't want to understand him - for as long as he could remember. Guilt was the chink in his only armor, and Rea had torn it into a gaping hole with a single sentence.

And Gods, but it hadn't helped when they'd realized they had a time limit. He'd almost considered murdering his cousin after that pot struck the solution from his grandfather's mind - he could just resurrect, her, too. Let Ranko share Rea's fate as punishment for dooming them as she had. Let her life hang on the off-chance that Chihiro would discover a solution on his own, or that Grandpa would suddenly shrug off his senility, or that Rea's disgusting father would do something right with his infinite resources for once.

Setting his work to the side for a moment, Chihiro laid his head in his hands and gently massaged his temples. A small, rueful smile found its way to his lips, and he let a sigh escape him. The whole situation was so ironic. Rea was… She really was a dream come true, for him. She was everything he'd ever wanted. If he was honest, he'd fallen for her even before she'd risen from the dead in a beautiful field of Hydrangea blooms. She'd been the first person to really _get_ him, he'd realized in those nights they'd spent at the old hotel, working to revive Babu. She'd been the first person to listen to what he was saying and not only _understand_, but _respond_. That moment she'd made him promise to resurrect her, he'd known he'd never find another like her.

But she wanted to be a normal girl. That was what he felt the worst about, because he didn't want her to be a normal girl. He wanted her to be her, and he wanted her to be his cute, zombie girlfriend. What kind of disgusting person would want to force that fate on someone they cared about so much? And how must she feel with him constantly filming her? It had to remind her of her… Honestly, he thought with quiet, sharp, bitter bark of a laugh, he really was just like her father.

He sighed again, and the knot loosened a little. He was beating himself up too much. He wasn't like her father; he, at least, put her wants before his own twisted desires. That's what he was doing right at that moment, right? Diligently searching for something, anything to let her have what she wanted so bad. Sifting through smudged, illegible ink and hundreds of internet websites, experimenting with dangerous poisons, staying up late into the night and early morning, all to make her happy. That was enough to atone for his depraved nature, wasn't it?

Chihiro froze stiff at the soft sound of his bedroom door sliding open. There was the near-silent swish of moving fabric as she walked closer. He dropped his hands into his lap, his back facing the thin layer of cloth that separated them. The shame fell onto him with the weight of a waterfall, and he had to bite his lip to choke down the sob that suddenly rose in his throat.

"Chihiro-kun? Are you still awake? Did you fall asleep while you were working again?" her voice was enough to break down the dam that held his tears in, and then they were streaming silently down his cheeks. His teeth dug at his lip until they drew blood, but he managed to keep quiet. There was a long silence where he didn't even dare draw breath.

"Chihiro-kun… I'm sorry for all of this. You do so much for me. You indulge all of my selfish wishes, and you work yourself to the bone to try and prolong my life. Every day, I watch you put me before yourself. Every day, you put aside everything else just to take care of me. I feel… I feel like I'm just stealing your life away for me to live instead!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" he half-shouted, his voice cracking as he twisted around to face her silhouette. A hiccup slipped though his lips, and he had to bite down again to keep from losing it completely. Another silence, and then shuffling as she crouched down in front of him. Slowly, quietly, the zipper that held up the barrier between them came undone, and he caught a flash of her faintly luminescent, red eyes before he looked away.

"Chihiro-kun, you're crying," she whispered, reaching up to wipe away a tear trail. He had to stop himself from leaning into her touch.

"I'm the selfish one," he choked out, "I won't let you go out in the sun, or go to school, or play sports. I just… I just keep you locked up in this _stupid house_, away from the world you died to see. Because I-I'm, I'm scared to lose you. Because I'm just like - mmph!"

His mind went blank. He couldn't see anything through his tears, but there was something cool sliding against his lips. He gasped, and then it was in his mouth, moving against his tongue, and he absently felt his back hit the sleeping bag inside his tent. There was a pleasant weight on top of him, and something was pinning his wrists above his head. It stayed like that for a few moments, his eyes going half-lidded from sensory overload, before Rea pulled away from the kiss, her chest heaving against his. Did zombies run out of breath? Chihiro wasn't sure. The extremely faint blush across her cheeks was obvious against the incredible paleness of her skin, even in the meek lighting from his laptop. The tightness in Chihiro's chest didn't have anything to do with guilt. Then she slapped him.

"You're _nothing_ like him! Don't you ever say that! You_ do _take me out in the sun, and you go out of your way to keep me happy and safe at the same time! You don't treat me like some kind of fucked-up _sex object! _You care about _me!_ Not some doll of my _mother!_" she whispered furiously, crimson eyes gleaming angrily and hands clenched tight enough to make his wrists creak. He stared up at her, jaw slightly slack from shock. Despite himself, his gaze focused on the trail of saliva that hung between their lips.

"Rea, you want to be normal. I'm not…" the other protest that had been gnawing at his chest for so long suddenly felt a little weak. She rolled her eyes before forcefully wrapping his arms around her waist and burying her face into his chest.

"You're so clueless," she muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"Ranko's a normal girl. She likes you."

"…Oh."

* * *

Don Furuya stared pensively at the tangled duo of slumbering teens, one of which was a zombie, the other his son, and scratched his head.

"I really don't know how to deal with this."


End file.
